Despite the clip art to the contrary, crocodiles are not well equipped to wear spectacles.

The gaboon viper has triangles pointing towards their eyes so they can always be looking sharp.

The zoo’s sign states:

“Kelang has been at the Gladys Porter Zoo since the year 2000. This exhibit is her home. Even though she doesn’t look as good as she did many years, she is as happy as a very old bear can be.”

The zoo has to say this because the “keep them in the wild” people not only don’t understand just how little “wild” there is left on this planet, but would rather animals die young, in pain, from illness and injury, than live out their lives in relative comfort.

Gorillas don’t have issues with long international flights either.

Being hot weather creatures, on cool days, the dama gazelle will appear to deflate.

Malcoha pondering the important questions in life:

How did I get here?

How do I work this?

Where is that large automobile?

What is that beautiful house?

Where does that highway go to?

Am I right?

Am I wrong?

My God! What have I done?

Scorpions are chronically upset because everyone they play with picks rock, not paper.

Owl being arrested for the 8th time so far this year, knowing there’s no case against him but also that there’s nothing he can do about it, and is biding his time until it’s someone else’s turn to be hassled.

Tortoise pondering whether it really counts as “wanting to save the world” when what you really want to do is utterly destroy very specific pieces of it.

In 1880, the Black Spotted Newt (Notophthalmus meridionalis) was scientifically described by Edward Cope (Homo sapiens) who spent several minutes trying to clean them before he realized they were a new species.